


Morning Pet

by Creatrix



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Deaths of convenience, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Time Loop, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 03:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8649340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creatrix/pseuds/Creatrix
Summary: After Katie's death, Robert begs anyone to let him fix this mess. Someone should have mentioned he should be careful what he wished for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best, but I hope you enjoy! Just wanted to add a fic to our tiny fandom!

It was his wedding. The one he _deserved_. All this time, sweetening them up, keeping secrets, pretending and he finally got the assurance of a long prosperous life. No father would rise from their grave and spout disappointments today.

That’s until, it all happened.

Aaron crying. Aaron confessing his love. The scared boy inside Robert, fighting his truths.

Katie. Wylies Farm. The _floorboards_.

When he found Andy holding Katie, the world seemed to shift to clarity and the fog of the day cleared. He’d finally realised what he’d done. Not only to the poor woman, but also to his brother, his family and the village. It was an accident. But it was covered up like a murder. He now had something to be guilty of.

Robert staggered out of the rotting home, gulping in the cool midnight air. His tear glazed eyes look to the stars, and he wishes. “Please. Please make this go away.” Paramedics and police officers surround the house, causing a commotion. He had to flee, before someone questioned him and he spilt all his secrets.

There was a stream nearby where he used to play at when he was a child. His legs move to it, like muscle memory. Eventually, the rushing water was audible, and Robert burst through the shrubbery to see the pitch-black lake. The water trickled over rocks and brush, moving forward despite their obstacles. _Why can’t I be like water?_

“Hello.” His spine ran cold, and he couldn't move to see who’d caught him red handed, fleeing from the crime.

“Wh-who are you?” Robert asked, still shaking with a cross of adrenaline and fear.

“Fate.” That made Robert turn, but he saw no one. “Uh-uh,” The voice tsks. “That’s not how this works.” It was hard to determine if it was male or female, but their tone felt more feminine.

“Then, how does this work?” Robert asked the wind.

“You’ve gotten yourself into a mess.”

A few more tears slid down his freckled cheeks. “Yes I _know_. Help me fix this.”

“But this is your fate, Robert Sugden.”

“No, it shouldn’t be. I was stupid. Let me fix this.” He begged the voice. He felt ridiculous, but he was desperate to fix this mess he’d put all the people he cares about in.

The person sighed. “Fine. Since you asked so nicely.”

“Thank you.” Robert took a relieved huff of breath. “I will not stop until I’ve fixed all my wrong doings.”

“All of them?” It didn’t sound like it at the time, but this had been one of the most important questions Robert would ever have to answer.

“Yes, yes all of them.” He promised, crouching next to the stream. “Please, let me do this.”

There was no reply, nothing but the whistling wind and the crashing water. 

* * *

 

“Morning pet! Today’s the big day!” _What?_ Robert sat up from his old bed at the Woolpack, utterly confused as to _how_ he got there and why Diane was so happy.

“What are you talking about?” Robert asked, ruffling his bed hair into something less nest like.

“Don’t play games. Come down for tea. Andy should be around soon to help you put your suit on.” She said chirpily as she left the room, humming a tune. This was, odd. Either Robert was in some kind of fever dream after Katie’s death, or he’d really achieved time travel somehow and gone back one day before.

“Okay.” Robert said slowly, trying not to have a cardiac arrest. “Don’t panic.” He looked at the wardrobe and saw his suit neatly pressed and ready for the big day. _What is going on?_ He checked his phone, and even that had gone a day back.

The shower was to calm down and rationalise before he went out into the world. Maybe this was the help he’d been promised. A fresh start to take back everything he’d done. By the time the soap and conditioner were gone, Robert knew what he’d have to do.

 _Despite this being the craziest thing in the world, this is an opportunity I will not squander._ Robert let the universal improbabilities out of his planning as he stumbled down the stairs where Diane was already making tea. He accepted the mug from her and took a seat at the table, thinking of what he must do today. _Save Katie._

The planning comes to a halt when the back door opened up and a very agitated Aaron waltzed through. _Aaron._ He’d forgotten about Aaron in all of this. He admitted he loved Robert, so it wasn’t going to be easy to convince Aaron that they were just sex, and to leave him alone. “We need a chat- Not here.” Aaron growled.  _Well_ , that’s one way to let the cat out of the bag.

“Diane, Aaron’s here.” Robert called, not wanting to speak to Aaron and cause more lust between them. If he kept his distance, perhaps Aaron would get the message. Aaron’s eyes lock to the kitchen where his step-mum stuck her head out with a grin.

“Hiya love.” She said, wiping a bowl dry. “Breakfast too?”

“N-no thanks.” He sounded rough, and Robert boiled it down to all the unrequited love he had stored in him. However, it may not be as unrequited as he'd thought. _No, I will love Chrissie alone. Being with Aaron has caused too much suffering._

“Anyway, I’m going to call Lawrence, see how the girls are doing.” Robert said, his last ditch effort to get away from Aaron.

“Good idea.” She gave an impressed hum. “You know, you’d never believe he was getting married today, cool as a cucumber this one.” Robert didn't smirk this time around, and headed straight for the stairs.

However he does hear Aaron’s throwaway comment. “Yeah, or maybe he’s just good at hiding things.”

Robert slammed the door behind him and took the stairs two at a time. Hiding _things_ was the least of his worries. Stopping his brother’s wife’s death was a bit of a priority. When he got out of his pyjamas, he went to the garage where he knew Aaron was waiting for him. The entire time he tried to think about how he could diffuse their situation without causing too much heartbreak.

Maybe, if he admitted that he felt something, but it didn’t compare to what he had with Chrissie, Aaron would finally realise he was a lost cause. Robert looked up and saw Aaron shuffling towards him. _I always liked that maroon hoodie._ “Hi.” Robert started.

“Please don’t do this.” Aaron succumb to his feelings straight away. It’s heartbreaking to watch, but Aaron’s feelings weren’t Robert’s top priority as of right now.

“Aaron, I love Chrissie. This has to stop before people get hurt.” Robert hadn’t meant to say that, but it was more true then he could imagine.

But Aaron was persistent. “I know I made a right mess of things yesterday, but we can fix this.” He took a step forward.

“I don’t want to fix this.” He knew Aaron was about to invite him to Wylie’s. It would be too soon if he saw that place. “Look, what we had, it was fun, but fleeting. It’s done now, we both have to… Move on.” Aaron’s eyes shun with betrayal and sadness, and it tore at Robert too. He’d forgotten how much Aaron played into todays events. He forgot the way his heart squeezed when he looked at Aaron too long.

“You can get away for a mo-”

“I can’t.”

“Just for-”

“I’m getting married. I’m busy.” Robert sighed, his eyes drooping to the ground. “I’m sorry.” Aaron didn't try to get a word in anymore, and let Robert leave. A little part of him wanted Aaron to fight for him, but it was impractical and insensitive. He hoped that his words sunk deep into Aaron, and he wasn’t about to go to Katie and spill.

He goes back to the Woolpack, where he _should_ have been since he was supposed to be getting ready for his wedding. Wedding 2.0. “Uh?” Robert turned to see Vic coming through the back room in her kitchen scrubs. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready? Since it’s your wedding day and all that.”

“It doesn’t take long to put a suit on.” He couldn't bring himself to smirk at his own jibe.

“You okay?” Diane asked from the couch. _Not really, no._  Like it was perfectly timed, Andy and Katie walk through the door. He felt like he’d seen a ghost. “Andy, right on time. Get this lad into shape would you?”

“Yeah sure thing. Hey Rob, are you alright?” Robert couldn't keep his eyes off Katie.

“Yeah. Fine.” It stilted, but it was an answer, and Andy was too keyed up about wedding prep to notice. _How can I fix this?_ “Katie,” He began. Diane, Vic and Andy had similar expressions of surprise and warning. “I’m really sorry.” _For everything._ “It was unfair for Chrissie and I to pull out of the Wylies farm deal.”

Her eyes went wide and she stared at Robert like he had two heads. “What?” Andy asked, looking between Robert and Katie. “What’s he talking about?”

“Andy, it’s fine.” Robert sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Katie and I had a row, Chrissie was mad that Katie kept getting into our business so she pulled out.” He looked at Katie, and he knows she’s letting him lie for her. “But, it’s unfair. I think weddings put everything into perspective. I need my brother, and my brother needs you. So it makes sense for us to...” _God she’s alive._ “Get along.”

She nodded slowly, and Robert knew his family have even more shocked expressions stamped onto their faces. But he'd gotten a second chance to patch things up with Katie, and he was going to do it right this time. “Alright. Thank you. I’ll- try my best.” It was a good sign, and a very good outcome.

Finally, he was doing something good in his life. 

* * *

 

The wedding went off without a hitch. Aaron came to the reception on time, grumbling with his mother and Katie in the back rows. The sight of her alive, and bickering was somehow relaxing. He was stood at the alter with Andy by his side and Vic with the brightest smile on her face. _This is good. This is really good._

When the music begun to play, and he saw Chrissie all in white just like the day before, he could appreciate it much better. With a clear conscious and happy heart, he took in her ethereal beauty. She was grinning like a mad woman, and he could feel the smile mirrored on his face too. “You look beautiful.” He whispered to her as Lawrence took a seat.

“You look handsome.” She replied, a happy twinkle in her eye.

Ashley was swift with the ceremony, and before he could say ‘champagne’, it was over and rice and confetti were being thrown their way. He pulled Chrissie into their honeymoon vehicle and a fleeting memory of Aaron handing him the keys sends a stab of pain into Robert’s heart. “You alright Mrs. Sugden?” He asked his new wife. Chrissie laughed the adrenaline away.

“I’m fine, my darling husband!” He sped off, hearing cheers and shouts behind them. _This is it. This is how the day should have ended. This was my happy ever after._ He looked at Chrissie who had one hand on the door of the car and the other on her hair to stop the wind from ruining it. Robert slowed down and took in the green valleys and forests that surround Emmerdale. “I love you.”

He was taken aback, not expecting her to say that, or the memory to flash into his mind.

_“Because I love you. And I think that you feel the same.”_

“I- I love you too. We’re going to be great together.” He said, and it wasn’t certain if he was convincing Chrissie or himself of that. They were greeted by the events staff who were stationed at Home Farm to get the reception into full swing. He pulled up in front of the doors of Home Farm, and waited for Chrissie to get out. “I’m going to park it out back okay?” He said and she didn't question him, sauntering into her big house like a queen.

Robert does do as such, but when he parks, he looked at the blue car and couldn't help but reminisce. _“You’ll make me think I fell for a quitter.”_ God, how could he be more stupid. Being in love with two people. It was a risky game, and then the risks got too high. He literally had to thank his lucky stars that he could go back and fix this mess he’d gotten himself into.

In the house, he has a double take when he see’s it all furnished for the wedding. Flowers and vines lined every door and railing. He felt like the king of the village. It was a bit egotistical, but he had just saved them all from a world of heartbreak over Katie’s death. Chrissie met him at the top of the stairs, and she'd been re-spruced and fresh faced. “We did it, we finally did it.” She squealed.

“You mean the world to me.” Robert murmured, kissing her lightly on the cheek. He’d finally gotten the girl in the end.

Guests come in, and the MC introduces them for the first time as Mr and Mrs Sugden. He held out his arm, which she slips hers through, and he led her down the stairs. Everyone was cheering for them, cat calling and whistling as they descended. They both reached for a flute of champagne from the nearest waiter and declared the party started.

The night was in full swing in no time. Everyone was lightly buzzed and shovelling canapés like there was no tomorrow. Robert took a break from dancing to sit on the 3rd step of the grand staircase. He looks at the doors, which had fairy lights dangling down from them. He remembered talking in hushed tones with Aaron in front of it, about covering their tracks.

As much as he wanted to enjoy the perfect evening, it was too similar to the night before. David had stolen Val’s hat again and swung Alicia in his arms for ages. Chas popped in with extra food and stuck around for a glass. However, a sight for sore eyes. Andy and Katie slow dancing in a corner by themselves. She had her hair slightly curled and a slimming black ensemble on. Andy looked happy, and not destroyed by the sight of a dead version of his wife.

Robert felt sick. The guilt would always be there. When he woke up tomorrow, with everything being as it should, he would be the only one who remembered that horrific day, that earth shattering night. His eyes wondered over the crowd, and he saw Aaron standing by the buffet, looking straight at him. He’s hurt, and so was Robert, but it was better to be apart.

Andy does a spectacularly soppy speech, and so does Robert and Lawrence. And the night eventually came to a close. Some who are too drunk were ushered into spare rooms, and the rest leave cordially. They all said their congratulations and gave their love as they leave, smiles abundant. Robert sighed in relief when the ground floor was emptied, save for the rubbish on the ground and a couple of sleeping guests on the lounges.

He went up and meet Chrissie in their room. She’d already taken the dress off and her hair was dangling around her shoulders. She had wiped the makeup off and she sat in the middle of the bed in her pyjamas and her phone in her hand. “Rebecca gives her regrets, and she sent me a picture of a shot of tequila saying she was celebrating alongside us.”

“Good old Bex, keeping the party alive.” Robert sighed, loosening his tie. “That was a great day.”

“The best.” Chrissie agrees, locking her phone and placing it on the side table. “I’m a little disappointed there wasn’t more drama.”

Robert froze, not letting the joke get to him. “I think we were lucky.”

“You don’t say. Anyway, now we’ve got the rest of our lives.” _What a concept._

“What are we doing tomorrow, Mrs Sugden?” He knew she liked him calling her by her new title.

“Honeymoon, then, it’s anyone’s guess.” Robert stripped down to his boxers and slipped into the bed with her, sliding his arms around her waist and tucking her into his side.

 _I’ve done it. I’ve fixed everything._

* * *

“Morning pet! Today’s the big day!”

Robert snapped up in a heartbeat. _No. NO!_

“Diane, what’s today?” Robert asked. Maybe he'd sleep walked back. Maybe she was talking about the honeymoon. How did this happen? Why was this happening?

“Robert, don’t play games.” She tutted. “Come on, downstairs. I’ve got a brew with your name on it.”

 _I have to tell someone._ This wasn’t normal. The day wasn’t supposed to restart again. He’d stopped Katie from dying. She was supposed to be asleep with Andy in their guest room. He wasn’t supposed to wake up in the Woolpack the morning of his wedding. Everything had gone _perfect_. Robert went downstairs, a bit more shaken up then he was the previous days.

Diane put a mug of tea in front of Robert and he gulped the scalding drink without batting an eyelid. She gave Robert a face that only meant she'd ask questions. Robert didn't need more questions. “I’m fine. Just nervous.” He lied and she switched to being sympathetic. Was it even truly a lie?

Perhaps then, an understatement. He was terrified. He’d messed with some kind of deity, celestial being, asking requests out of turn and now he was getting a cruel payment for it. He would have to fix this haunting day for the rest of his life. Like it was scripted, Aaron walked into the back room, in all his pent up glory. “We need a chat- Not here.”

Robert groaned into his mug. _Why do I put myself into these amazingly awful situations? I thought manslaughter was bad, but a pissed off god?_ Aaron doesn’t look like he wants to know what’s the matter with him, but Diane interrupted his departure. “Want a cuppa?”

“I need to have a shower.” Robert grumbled, putting the mug down.

“I think he’s marriage to Chrissie is finally dawning on him.” Diane giggled. Robert had to leave. But just as the day before, he heard Aaron’s response.

“Good.”

The shower didn't help, and the self-pep talks some what decreased the urge to have a panic attack. The prospect of eternally reliving his wedding day didn’t sound great as some might imagine. He had problem on top of problem and if he wasn’t on his A-game, it would all crumble. He also had a shitty god to speak to. _Fate,_ his mind supplied, as he searched for clothes to wear.

For a concept that literally meant to let things run their course, Fate was really losing their touch. Repeating a day over and over again was the polar opposite of Fate. Robert shouted into a pillow, his frustration levels flying high. _I have to tell someone. I can’t do this alone._ It was a thought that held too many repercussions. Telling someone and sounding crazy didn’t sound like a good plan, and then he didn’t know if he was going to wake up to the repeated day or continue life the next morning.

 _No, I have to keep this to myself. My mess, my problem._ He goes out, down the path he’d taken twice already and met up with Aaron in front of the garage, again. “Hi.” He didn't have the energy to get it over and done with.

“Robert, please don’t do this.” Aaron was begging again. He’d always beg for Robert to choose him. He acted like no one could touch him, but he’d always push away his pride to ask for Robert’s love.

“I love Chrissie.” Robert sighed.

“You don’t sound it.” He countered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Don’t make this harder then it has to be Aaron.” He just wanted this to be over.

“It’s hard to accept because you know it’s meant to be.” Aaron said, enthusiasm evident in his voice. He really believed he could get Robert on his side. It was admirable.

Robert shook his head. “No. It’s hard to tell you that, even though we had something, we cannot continue this. I love Chrissie, and I’m marrying her-” _Again._ “And, I’m really sorry. I didn’t expect this.” The last sentence was not just meant for Aaron. It held a lot of meaning for Robert now. He didn’t expect any of this to happen.

Aaron looked bitter. But he had to take the apology, because it was rare for Robert Sugden to apologise. And Robert probably also looked like death warmed over. “You alright?”

“Just… Not feeling 100%. Might be a bug.” The excuses tumbled out of Robert like a river- _The River!_ “I have to go. I’ll see you at the wedding.” He turned back and sprinted to his car that was parked in front of the Woolpack. He got in, and with shaking hands he started it up. Perhaps that was like Fate’s shrine, and he could communicate to her there. He drove up to Wylies, but veered off to where he remembers the forest leading to the river was.

He parked as close as possible, and stepped out into the cool morning air. The place looked undisturbed and he slowly waded through the shrubbery. “Hello?” He called to the wind. “Fate?” No answer. “Fate come on, this isn’t funny anymore. I did what I set out to do. I fixed everything.” The wind picked up, and the river became rougher. “I did, I swear!”

The tree’s whipped around in the wind, and Robert felt like he had disrespected the spirit somehow. “I saved Katie.” The tree’s became steadier. “I patched things up with Aaron. My marriage is safe, I got married. Andy is fine. What more is there?” The wind slowed down and there stood Robert, all alone next to the river with untidy hair and a furious face.

“I did it all. There must be something I missed. Did a cat fall out of a tree that I was supposed to save?” Robert moaned, placing his head in his palms. “Why can’t they speak to me.” This whole ‘ _discover yourself’_ journey that he was supposed to be achieving on his own was getting old real quick. He needed help. Fast.

His car is still sat in the silent field, and Robert wanted to get in and drive off a cliff. If this was what he thought it was, he wouldn’t want to be around any longer. Maybe death was the only solution. Maybe, to repent for Katie’s death, he must die himself. _How poetic._ He got into his car and drove back to the village to meet up with Andy to put on their tux’s.

Katie was dawdling behind him like yesterday with a hard grimace on her face. Aaron still wouldn't budge apparently. “Hey listen Katie, I think it was a bit unfair of us to pull out of the sale.” Her eyes narrowed, like she wanted to say ‘What’s the catch?’. “Seriously. We’re going to be family, I don’t want any bad blood.” He turned away, hoping that it was enough to get Katie to back off for the rest of the night. She didn't try to insist that the affair was going on, apparently she finally realised _her_ marriage was more important then ruining his.

When he got upstairs, he saw Andy in his trousers and his dress shirt unbuttoned. “Robert, did Vic say what were in her mini pies?”

“No- How should I know?” He asked with a sigh. He recalled Andy saying something like that the day before, not to him but to Diane. “Hey can I ask you something?” Maybe if he told Andy, he could help fix it.

“Sure. Not getting cold feet?” He says with a grin.

“It’s not about the wedding. It’s about… The universe?” Robert felt like an idiot, and from where he’s standing, Andy must think so too.

“You know, you didn’t have to smoke a blunt to calm down. You can talk to me…”

It was a little hilarious to hear that come out of his burly brother’s mouth. “I- I’m not high!” He couldn't help a chuckle at this astronomical disaster. “Idiot. I mean, do you believe in like, deities and stuff?”

“Like ghosts? Or God?” Andy questioned, playing along.

“Gods? Of different things? Like time or nature or whatever…” Especially time.

“Like Doctor Who?” _I should have known when I asked him. Utter bird brain._ “Listen, I don’t know why you’re saying this, but if it’s about how your life had come to this point and all that crap, I just say roll with it. It’s fate. You just have to live the life you’ve been given.”

 _It’s fate all right. “Roll with it.”_ It sounded impossible. It sounded like Andy might have something to do with this day restart thing. But from his confused face and the way he just couldn't manage to figure out the buttons, he thinks it’s just his brother’s way of comforting him. “Thanks. That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”

In a sense, it was. A new outlook on this had shone from Andy’s speech. Roll with the punches. Eventually something will change or the god of Fate will realise that this is the life he wanted and had been chosen for him. Robert gave in and helped his brother out, along with getting himself ready. They met up with Diane, Vic and Katie at the back of the pub. They were all dressed to impress. Again. The Sugdens pile into their cars and drive leisurely to the church where Ashley and the guests were meeting them.

Robert repeated the same steps and said the same things to Ashley and Andy when they got inside. More guests filled the seats. Work mates, close clients, Lawrence’s friends and Chrissie’s friends all find their seats. His eyes automatically drift to Katie.

She’s alone.

 _Where’s Aaron?_ Panic rose in his gut, and he had to cough out his breaths. _What did I do?_ If Aaron went to Home Farm and told Chrissie everything, what would he do if this was the final repeat? Chrissie wouldn’t get married to him and the concept of family and wealth and security would all be gone. The tell tale sign that Chrissie had come, was when Lachlan came through the door with a thumbs up and sat beside Vic.

_Thank god._

He hadn’t lost her. Aaron hadn’t talked to her. _But where is he?_ It was awful, but he was concerned and wanted to know where Aaron was more then wanting to get married. He’d done it twice before and this time would be pretty much the same. But he had to stay, because Chrissie comes in, all white and bright, smiling like she’d seen the most amazing thing in her life.

Guilt comes after the subsided panic. He couldn’t think about Chrissie in her wedding dress, because his eyes flickered to the empty seat next to Katie. Perhaps he was going to get an explanation later. Perhaps, things would be coming to a head at the reception, and Aaron was going to yell to the entire crowd about their affair.

_Why do I always ruin everything?_

Getting married this time was easy, and the words felt less like a commitment and more of a reciting of song lyrics. There was no passion behind them. Chrissie was too happy blind too see that Robert was so far away in his mind.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

The trip down to Home Farm was silent on Robert’s part, but bubbling and loud on Chrissie’s. She talked and kept the conversation rolling without much input. “I thought the decorations wouldn’t suit the church, but it really looked lovely. And I know, I wanted to be married in a cathedral, but Emmerdale is _our_ home now, and we should be married in the village church.” She gushed more, about her friend’s hairstyles and wardrobe malfunctions, then they finally made it back to their palace.

The reception was started again and Robert felt so dizzy. He felt exhausted. “Chrissie!” He called over the music. She wasn't listening, so he slipped away into the office and out of Home Farm. “Was I cursed by a witch called Fate?” He grumbled to himself as he got into his car. “Doesn’t matter.”

He drove to the Woolpack. It was quiet, probably since most of their customer’s were at his house getting drunk off wine and expensive brandy. He pulled into the back and knocked on the back door. He knew Chas just left to bring more canapés to the wedding, so Aaron would be home alone. Like he predicted, Aaron opened the door.

“Mum did you- Oh. Robert.” He looked tired as well. His hair was rumpled and his eyes were drooping.

“Why didn’t you come?” He had to ask. Aaron’s face went from shocked to hard with a silent rage.

“I didn’t want to watch you marry her.” He bit back. “And I don’t think we’re friends anymore.”

It didn't make sense. “But you came yesterday.”

“What?” Robert realised he screwed up.

“N-nothing. Sorry I came. Sorry for everything.”

It took a phenomenal amount of self-control to step away from the door. But he did. Because he loved Chrissie. He just married the woman twice, and if this was his life now, he’d probably end up having to do it again tomorrow. Aaron, like yesterday, didn't fight for him. Robert got into the car without a protest from him. It was sad. Because somewhere deep inside Robert, he wanted Aaron to shout and pull him inside and never let him go back.

He goes back to the party, feeling like he’d just lost something. 

* * *

 

“Morning pet! Today’s the big day!” Well, this was going to be fun.

Trotting down the stairs and everything is exactly the same. Diane made him a tea and they sit and have a little chat. She goes on about how much his dad would be proud of him and Robert wants to scream. _This can’t be happening. Am I in a coma? Is this a coma dream?_ Like clockwork, Aaron barges into the room and Robert wanted to say the line first.

“We need a chat- not here.”

Robert got ready, but he met Aaron with his car. “Get in.” Aaron was hesitant, but he opened the passenger door and got into the Audi. “Thought it would be less suspicious.” He shrugged and pulled out onto the street. It wasn’t, he just wanted to see how much things changed if he did certain bits different. Aaron didn't seem phased, but stared out of the window. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

He kind of knew what Aaron might say next. “Don’t do this.” _Did he rehearse this before coming to me?_ The mental image of Aaron in the portacabin repeating his plea made him crack a smile. He was _very_ quick to hide it though. “Please. I can’t watch you marry her.”

“Then don’t.” Robert said. “Aaron, did you know that I think about you a lot?” The uncharacteristic comment threw Aaron and he stayed silent. Robert was feeling reckless. “A whole lot. But do you know who I think about more? My wife. My… future wife.” He fixed. “So, you see, as much as I hate us being apart, I have to, because I’m marrying the woman I love.” It was cheesy and he hoped it ticked all of the ‘letting down smoothly’ boxes.

“Why are you being so nice?” Aaron asked. The way he said it made Robert believe his reputation was not what he imagined.

“I’m nice.” He mumbled. “Sometimes.”

Aaron sat and fumed. Robert looped back around to the village. “Well, it doesn’t matter. It seems like it’s over.”

“It is.”

“I’ll keep your secret. But only because Chrissie doesn’t deserve it. You should be ashamed.” Aaron said when Robert pulled into the Woolpack parking. Aaron has said worse. He didn't even blink at insults anymore. He was out of the car and Robert just sat and thought. Before he could drive off, Katie opened the door and planted herself in the passengers seat..

“This isn’t a confessional. Get out.” He sneered, still a bit tender about this whole nightmare being her death’s fault. Which was his fault. Ugh.

“I just saw Aaron get out of your car.”

“Congratulations.”

“Why.” It wasn't a question, it was a command. Robert didn't do commands.

“Non of your business. Get. Out.” _This is so fucked up,_  Robert growled to himself. She was just reminding him of all his wrong doings. He was supposed to prevent her death, not feel homicidal.

“No. Tell me what you two were talking about.” Robert was getting sick of her. He puts the car into reverse and pulls out onto the street. “Robert!” She exclaimed, before he put the car into drive and floored it. Maybe it was a scare tactic, or maybe he just was sick of all this crap. The day repeating was starting to get worrying, and he was not going to let himself listen to Katie prattle on and on about the affair.

“Get out Katie!” Robert yelled over the roaring engine.

“I can’t!” Katie screeched.

“Well then-“ He slammed on the breaks. “Now get out.”

“What? What the hell is wrong with you?” She shouted, taking off her seat belt. Robert ignored her and waited for her to get out. “You’re crazy. You shouldn’t be around _people_ , let alone your fiancée.” And with a irritated scream she slammed the door. It didn't take a millisecond for Robert to speed off, leaving Katie in the dust. He drove extremely fast through the bends of the road, grinding small corners and speeding up at crests.

 _I hate this!_ He didn't see the other car until the final moment.

The last thing he thought of was Aaron’s disgruntled face, and the last thing he heard was the sickening sound of his skull cracking open. 

* * *

“Morning pet! Today’s the big day!”

Robert didn't get out of bed. He just stayed under the protective layers, wishing the day away. _Maybe this was what Fate wanted. For me to not do anything._ He replayed the crash in his mind, feeling nauseous when he remembers the last moments. His head caved into the steering wheel. The loud snap and blood flooding his vision.

He rubbed the spot on his head, and only felt his smooth clammy skin. This was too much. He was a mortal man with the ‘gift’ of repeating a single day. The day that was supposed to be the happiest day of his life. Now, felt like the worst thing imaginable. His door cracked open, and he saw Aaron peer in. “Diane said you were up here.”

“Go away.” Robert growled from under his mountain of blankets and quilts.

He couldn't hear if Aaron left, but the way his bed dipped beside him tells that he stayed. “Second thoughts?”

“More like quadruple thoughts.” Robert muttered.

Aaron took the opportunity. “You know, you don’t have to marry her if you don’t want to.” _Well, he doesn’t give up._

“I said go away Aaron. You had your wish. I’m not marrying her. But, I’m not marrying you either. I want to be alone.” _Forever._ He didn't care what happened today. Today was a freebee. Let the chips fall where they may.

An hour later, Chrissie stormed into the Woolpack. _Hurricane Chrissie,_ his mind laughed. “Robert Sugden!” She shouted from downstairs. He could hear her heavy footsteps on the wooden stairs. “Where the hell are you?” She yanked open his door but he didn't move a muscle.

“Chrissie. Welcome.” Robert mumbled into his pillow.

“Why aren’t you ready? We’re getting married in an _hour_. Don’t you want this anymore?” She went from accusing to worried. Robert tried to figure out if it was genuine.

“Not in the mood.” Robert replied, and that set her off.

“Oh, really? You know what? Fine! I don’t care either.” She ripped her engagement ring off her finger and threw it against the wall. He heard it clatter on the ground. “Get your bags tomorrow. I don’t want to see you ever again.” _Good old Chrissie, flying off the handle like always._

Robert snorted at the ‘tomorrow’ comment. “Sure thing.” She let out a final wail and left him be. His stomach growled and his head ached, but he didn't want to move. He just wanted to lie down and waste the day away.

Vic was the next one to check up on him. “Robert, is everything alright?”

“Peachy.” Robert replied.

“You haven’t eaten anything all day.” She tutted.

“Not hungry.” He’d always appreciate how his little sister loved him unconditionally. He just called off his wedding last minute, and she was more worried if he ate then the repercussions of not going through with the wedding.

She was as quiet as a mouse and slid on top of the bed next to him. “You know, if you’re worried about Mum and Dad… Don’t. Because as much as they loved us, they’re not here anymore. If you think it was too early to get married, then that’s your choice.” She patted his flat blond hair. “But I’m here, and I love you. And no matter what you do, I’m on your side.”

Vic left after she got the message that Robert wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. He could see the sun set outside his window, and watched the yellow sky turns black. His room was painted with darkness, and Robert felt akin to it. Dark. Cold. _What do I do tomorrow?_

The door creaked open again, and someone shuffled into Robert’s bed. He didn't move, just let the person stay there. It might be Vic, it might be Chrissie trying to say sorry… It might be Aaron. That thought encouraged him to take a look. Beside him, tucked beneath the blankets that protected him from the day was Aaron Livesy. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Robert whispered.

“I know I’m kind of the last person you want to see right now, but… I don’t think you should be alone.” He admitted. “And it hurts to watch you do this to yourself.”

“Do what?”

“Self destruct. I should know.” Aaron rubbed his stomach where the scars still laid. “Go to sleep. We can chat in the morning.” _No. No I need to get it off my chest._

“Aaron, I’m in a time loop.” He whispered.

“What does that mean?” Aaron asked.

“I’ve lived this day 4 times already. I don’t know why it’s happening.” Robert said. Aaron looked suspicious.

“You know, if you didn’t want me in your bed, you should have just told me.”

Robert put a hand on his chest, keeping him in his spot. “Humour me, please?” Aaron lied back, and kept his eyes on Robert’s face. “It started with the real day. I was getting married, but you asked me to meet you at Wylies.” Aaron’s eyes widened. “We got there… You told me you loved me.”

 _Just, get it off your chest._ “And I couldn’t be with you. So I shrugged you off. Then you called Katie to meet us. I kissed you, and she took a picture. She wouldn’t give me her phone, so I pushed her. The floor gave way. She fell. She broke her _neck_.” Robert’s hands shook. “I called you. I manipulated you into cleaning up my mess. And it finally dawned on me what I’d done when Andy was crying over her body. So I ran. And I found this river and I heard a voice. They called themselves ‘Fate’. And then I woke up, on the morning of my wedding day. It’s happened 4 times.”

Aaron didn't speak, and Robert didn't blame him. It was insane. It wasn't even logically possible. It was just… Magical. And there is _no_ such thing as magic. “Robert. What do you want me to say?”

He sighed, placing his head on his shaky hands. “Just tell me it’s going to stop. Tell me that when I wake up tomorrow morning, all the answers will be revealed.”

“I think that maybe… In a hypothetical sense since, it’s a bit insane to believe this is real…” _Of course._ “But maybe Fate is trying to teach you a lesson? Pay for hurting Katie? Or maybe, you’re meant to discover something and it won’t stop repeating until it does.” _Just roll with it._ Aaron could be wise when the situation called for it.

“Okay.” Robert tucked himself beside Aaron and let him rest his arms around his waist. “I’ll see what I can do.”

The next morning he was woken by Diane’s signature sentence. “Morning pet! Today’s the big day!” Robert was out of bed and dressed before she could even put the kettle on. “Hey! Where are you going?” She yelled to the retreating Robert.

“Out!” He called behind him. When he bursted out of the Woolpack, he looked around, trying to figure out where Aaron was when he woke up in the morning. _Scrapyard_. Robert sprinted to the scrapyard, and lo and behold, Aaron was stood there, playing with a side mirror. “Aaron.” Robert called out, and Aaron’s head snapped up. “Aaron I need to talk to you. I need your help.”

“Me too.” He said, putting the mirror down. “Adam’s not here yet, so we can talk.”

Robert led Aaron to one of the taken apart cars and sat on the open engine. “I’ve told you this before. You just have to believe me and help me.”

Aaron was sceptical and confused by the now dubbed ‘Time Loop Theory’. Robert insisted and explained any questions Aaron had. _He thinks I’m insane._ “Okay, so say this is all true. What are you going to do about it? You can’t keep repeating the day over and over again.”

“I know. You told me yesterday that there must be something that I have to do to stop this. I just want to marry Chrissie once, and that’s it.” It was cruel, to ask your lover to help you marry your wife, but this loop was driving Robert nuts.

So they made a plan. Robert explained how he went back to the river and no one spoke back. “Someone’s going to come look for you.” Aaron sighed, thinking about the day. Even if Robert didn't care, it was a new day to Aaron and for all he knew until an hour ago, he was going to lose Robert to Chrissie.

“Right, lets go somewhere private.” They grabbed Aaron’s keys and got in his car. Aaron speeds out of the main part of the village, driving up to Butlers Farm. “Why are we here?” Robert asked, looking at the old home.

“Well,” Aaron started, leading them to a secluded section of the barns. “I guessed Wylies would be a bad idea, and everyone will be searching for you. I also know that Cain and Moira wouldn’t care if you sat around their barn all day, flunking your wedding.” Aaron shrugged, moving a bale of hay.

“From what I can tell, it might have nothing to do with Katie.” Robert sighed, taking a seat.

“Because…”

Robert feels like Aaron might not believe him anymore. “Because I saved her and I still looped.” He said and Aaron nodded. “So, it must be something else. I need to change something else.”

“Quick question, why did you tell me?” Aaron asked.

“Because I trust you?” _That’s not all. But that’ll have to do for now._ “And you’re the only one who knows about the affair.”

“Maybe that’s it? To stop the loop you have to tell Chrissie about us.” Robert jerked up, affronted. _No. That’s not it._

“I don’t think so. Because, I love Chrissie and I’m not risking that.”

Aaron looked like he wanted to shoot Robert. “Oh, so you’d rather relive the same day over and over for eternity then out yourself to Chrissie? Okay, amazing priorities.” Robert wanted to shut Aaron up with his mouth like he used to, but as he also said; he had bigger things to worry about then his sharp tongue. He played with his Rolex, and concentrated on the matter at hand.

“But I don’t want to do that. I need my marriage to work.” Robert insisted.

“Robert, I know you don’t want to hear this… But it’ll only get harder. You’ll have urges again. She’ll never be enough for you.” He had an inkling that Aaron might be twisting the situation to his benefit. “Maybe this was what you were supposed to do.”

 _That’s ridiculous and impossible to fathom._ “I’m not trying that.” End of. Aaron got the message from the tone of Robert’s voice. Hard and rough was Robert’s serious mode. He meant it.

The conversation fell short and they just sat side by side. Robert kind of regretted telling Aaron. This was the same man who was going to tell him he loved him out of desperation to keep him. This was the man who would cover up manslaughter for him at the drop of a hat. _I love Chrissie_. “What about-”

“No, I’m going back. I’m going to tell Chrissie and see if she had any suggestions.” It always tugged at Robert's heart when Aaron’s face falls at the sound of her name. He got up and headed out of the mucks and into the main house.

“Uh, hello?” Moira said over her tea. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting married?”

“I need a lighter. I’ll explain later.” _Hah, unlikely._ Moira pointed to the draw that held a box of matches. Perfect. “Thanks.” He took them out and raced back to the hay stacks.

“Robert what are you doing?” The sheer panic in Aaron’s voice made Robert’s heart sing. _He cares._ “Stop this!” He pulls a match out and slides it on the side of the box.

It came alight. He tossed it into the hay. “Bye Aaron.” He smiled. “See you tomorrow.”

“Robert stop!” Aaron began crying, but the flames had already risen. “Get out! This isn’t funny!” He tried to get close, but the flames were too strong. Inside the wall of fire, Robert suffocated; his eyes watered and his lungs burnt to a crisp. He lied on a bale, and let the world take him.

“See ya later.” He whispers to the flickering figure of a distraught Aaron. 

* * *

“Morning pet! Today’s the big day!”

Chrissie was no use. He'd spent 4 days trying to convince her that this loop was real. There was a 50/50 chance he would go back _again_ and convince his fiancée he was reliving their wedding day over and over again. Robert took a leisure day. He goes for a long, long walk.

 _I think I deserve one of these._ Chrissie believed him way less then Aaron had. He didn’t know what that meant about their characters. Was Aaron naïve for believing him or was Chrissie distrustful for not believing. _It’s an insane circumstance in the first place._ He strolled past the Woolpack to avoid the garage until he saw Finn tumble out of Dale View.

“Finn!” _He might help. Like really help._ He knew that Finn was a bit of a comic book nerd like himself, so these kinds of things would be up his alley.

“Hey mate! Aren’t you getting married today?” Robert groaned. If he had to hear about this wedding one more time he was going to spend another day in bed. With a bolted door this time around.

“Nah, postponed. Got a minute?” He walked over to Finn who was working on the lock of his house.

“I’m headed to the B&B for a shift, but we can walk and talk?” And so they do. Robert was a bit nervous to tell Finn, but anything supernatural or mystical should be his cup of tea.

“So I have a little issue –besides the big day.” He quickly corrects. Fin nods slowly, fiddling with his bag. “So, I’ve kind of gotten myself into a time loop.”

“Oh yeah, sure and I’m Spiderman.” Robert didn't show his disappointment. Of course he wouldn’t believe him, it was impossible. The only celestial beings that were supposed to exist were the ones that churches made up to stop masses of people from going rogue and having no moral guide.

“I know it sounds stupid. But I need help. There’s something I have to do and I don’t know what it is.” _Please, just give me the benefit of the doubt._

Finn silently thought it over, and it felt like an eternity. “Like the movie Looper?” Finn asked, and a wave of relief and worry smashed against each other in his gut.

“N-no. Like… Mystery spot.” It’s felt good to let out the inner nerd within with Finn.

This, however caught the boy’s attention. “Seriously? Reliving the same day over and over?”

“Exactly.”

They’d actually stopped a small ways in front of the B&B. “What do you wake up to?”

Robert lets out a startled laugh. “Bloody Diane saying ‘Morning pet! Today’s the big day!’. I wanted to strangle her once.” Finn laughed loudly, and Robert suspected he could possibly wake up the _whole_ neighbourhood. “So can you help me?”

“In Supernatural there was an angel who was doing it. Do you know who’s doing it to you?” Finn asked as he fixed his glasses.

“Fate.” Robert growls to the sky. “Apparently. I don’t even know anymore.” Finn looks at the sky as well as if that would answer any question. “I did some horrible things, and I asked if I could go back and change it all but Fate sent me back a day, and when I finished the day how it was supposed to go… You know, I see Diane at my door.”

“Maybe you have to learn a lesson? Because Sam had to learn that no matter what he did Dean would always die.” _Maybe… Katie was supposed to die?_ “But that’s different since every day Dean did die, is it like that with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Does something happen the same every single day?”

“No.” Finn led them to a table at the Woolpack and pulled out his phone. “Don’t you have to go to work?”

“I think a day of work can wait.” He mumbled as he Googled something. “Okay, so tell me what you’ve changed. Then you can narrow it down.”

Robert thought back to the week of repeated days. “I’ve stopped a death. Didn’t change anything.”

“Who’s?” Finn asked.

“Katie’s.” Robert didn'g let Finn ask any more questions. “I didn’t marry Chrissie.”

“Nothing changed?” Finn assumed.

 _Maybe Aaron was right. Maybe I need to tell her about us._ “I’m kind of keeping a secret from her.” Robert admitted, unsure if he should be telling Finn any of this. There was always a chance the day didn’t start anew.

“That might be your solution. Come clean.” He locked his phone and stowed it away. “It also might not, but you have to try.”

As much as it sounded like the answer, it didn’t sit well with Robert. He had tried for years to be apart of Chrissie’s family, and now he had to destroy it all. Being with Aaron was the worst mistake of his life, and now he was paying eternally for it. This may be his fault, but it was Aaron’s fault for turning their sessions into something more.

He loved Robert. He actually said it that day. And now, Robert had to pay for breaking Aaron’s heart by reliving his godforsaken wedding day over and over again. “I’m going to go speak to Chrissie.” Finn encouraged him, which made it worse. Finn had done the whole ‘coming out’ thing, and it turned out fine. If he knew that Robert killed for his secret, he’d never forgive him.

Robert waved to Finn as he got into his car, and drove to Home Farm where Chrissie would either be going crazy with worry, or getting ready for the ‘big day’. When he arrived, Lawrence was outside on his phone. As he parked, Lawrence noticed him and stormed up to either greet or lecture him. “Robert, what are you doing here?”

“I need to speak to Chrissie.” He said.

“Diane said she hadn’t see you all day.” He growed.

“I went out. Did some thinking. I need to talk to her about our marriage.” He said. He knew Lawrence hated him, so them breaking it off would be his wish come true. Like he suspected, Lawrence moved away and let Robert through. He went inside the house, and heard the scandalised yelps of women claiming him being there was bad luck. _I am the walking definition of bad luck._

The trip to his bedroom was more nostalgic since he’d not slept in there for a week now. He slipped inside and saw the wedding planner speaking to Chrissie and a hairdresser pinning her hair up. “Chrissie?” He opened the door and the girls look at him.

“Robert! What are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed?” She asked with concern in her voice.

“I need to talk to you.” He looks at the wedding planner and the hairdresser. “Alone.” Chrissie relieved them and let Robert in.

“You look scared. Is there something wrong?” She asked in her sweet husky tone. Robert would never admit it aloud, but sometimes it irritated him when she spoke. “Come on, talk to me.”

He took a deep breath. “I’ve been lying to you.”

“O-okay.” She said, and it was obvious that she’d been bracing herself.

“I was having an affair.” Somehow, saying those words made him feel like the worst person in the world, but also majorly relieved. Chrissie wasn't moving or talking, just staring over Robert’s shoulder. “I don’t think we should get married.”

“You-” Her eyebrows creased together. “ _You_ don’t think we should get married?” He hated himself the more she spoke. “I thought that woman was going insane! Katie was right all along and you made her out to be… A stalker! You’re disgusting!” Every insult felt like a bullet in his chest. It’s well deserved though.

“I’m sorry Chrissie.” He said reverently. Even if he did those things, he was truly sorry. _She has to see that. What if the loop stops and I lose this forever?_

“Who was she?” She asked, tapping her hand on her thigh. “Tell me Robert.”

 _Should I?_ “Aaron.”

Her face became open with shock. He eyes widened and her jaw popped open. “Aaron? Our _mechanic_?” She screeched. “Get out! Get out!” Robert didn't take a second to consider it, he races out of her room before she threw something at his head. He made a discreet escape and got into his car before she lit it on fire. There was only one place he wanted to go.

Somehow, he knew Aaron would be sulking at the scrapyard. When he pulled in, he saw Aaron look up hopefully. As if he could feel more shit then he already did. He stalked over to Aaron who stood there in his hoodie and florescent vest. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re the third person to ask me that today.” Robert huffed. “Can’t I come see you?”

Aaron became flustered. It made Robert’s ego rise from the dead. “Of course. I just, thought you’d be getting ready for your wedding.”

“Well, I’m not.” He shrugged. “Told Chrissie about us didn’t I?”

“ _You did_?” He’s clearly astonished. If it were real, if his life didn’t go askew, he would never have told Chrissie. But these were different circumstances. “How did she take it?”

“How do you think?” Robert bit back. “She kicked me out. I cancelled the wedding. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.” 

They stood in the cold yard, thinking about what may happen tomorrow. To Aaron, he might think that he’d be able to coerce Robert into a relationship, but to Robert, it was either he was going to wake up in the Woolpack again, or he was going to try and fix his relationship with Chrissie. “Do you love her?”

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be marrying someone I don’t love.” Robert mumbled.

Aaron nodded. He looked so defeated. Robert hated that both the people he'd loved were hurt by his mistakes. “I think that you love me too.” _I’ve heard that before._

“Maybe. But it doesn’t matter now.”

“Why?” He was insulted.

“Because my livelihood is over. My entire life was supposed to be, get married, have a good paying job, and maybe have a family. It’s been engrained into me since I was a kid.” Robert said, thinking back to Jack Sugden’s brilliant parenting.

“You know that’s not true. You can do whatever you want now.” Aaron persisted.

“No I can’t. Because, I’m nothing without her. I have nothing without her.” It was the only truth Robert knew.

“You have me. You have me without her.” Aaron took a step forward.

“Oh? And what can you give me?” He asked. If this was the end, if this was it, then he wanted to _know_ what he gave his entire life for.

“Love, Robert. Love, and support and happiness.” He said and Robert’s heart teared in two. This man would give him the promise of love and support, after he’d been so cruel to him. After time and time again, he’d chosen her, Aaron would forget it all to be with him. A half of his heart wanted to grovel at Chrissie’s feet.

The other wanted to run away with Aaron. Leave the village and start anew for real.

“Love and support won’t keep me fed and in my suits.” Robert whispered.

Aaron was fed up. It seemed obvious from his drooped shoulders and the bitter expression imprinted on his face. “I give up Robert. I give _up_. You never listen to anyone but yourself. And you wonder why you’re alone.”

Robert had actually been on fire, and this hurt worse. It hurt worse then Chrissie’s insults. _I need to fix us._ Robert turned and found an electric buzz saw that Aaron and Adam use to cut up the cars. He turned it on. “See you tomorrow.” He said to Aaron’s retreating form. Then he slowly pushed the spinning blade into his stomach.

“ROBERT!” 

* * *

“Morning pet! Today’s the big day!”

Robert pressed his hand against his smooth stomach and took some deep breaths. _I’m fine. Not dead._ He pulled his clothes on and figured out what exactly he was going to fix today. It was his relationship with either Aaron or Chrissie. He walked to the scrapyard.

He wasn’t going to say it aloud, but he liked watching Aaron work. The concentration he had when dismantling the cars and how easy he pulled out engines or stacked air-conditioning units. He was in his element. It was calming. Sometimes he would stop doing paperwork inside the portacabin and watch Aaron cut through scrap like butter.

“Hey.” Aaron's eyes flickered to him, and then went back to work.

“I was meaning to come talk to you.” He said, putting the oil stick back in the engine.

“I know.” Robert wanted to smile, because he knew what Aaron would say to him if he let him talk. “Wanna get out of here?” Aaron became stock still over the engine. Robert was impressed that it’s been so easy to shock people lately.

“Serious?” Aaron asked, pulling away and faced Robert.

“Yep.” He looked out at the rolling green hills behind the portacabin. “How about we go for a drive, or a walk?”

“Sure.”

Robert took him to the river. It was the only place he could take Aaron and feel like he hadn’t lost control of the world. “We probably should have bought lunch. I don’t plan on going back.” Robert sighed, kicking a rock away.

“What do you mean? You’re getting married.” Aaron lingered behind him, watching the strange Robert in front of him teeter on the riverbed. “Robert I don’t get this.”

“I need to make a choice, and I don’t know who to choose.” He didn't need to explain more to Aaron, but he was in the mood for talking. “One choice is a life in the laps of luxury. I could be with them, love them, settle down, and be the man everyone didn’t think I could be.” He turned to Aaron who listens attentively. “Or I could choose unconditional love. If I were rich or poor, they would love me. If I were, a murderer or a saint, they’d still love me. But I’d be the disappointment my father always saw me as. What would you choose?”

Aaron took a deep breath, obviously fighting tears. “It’s a hard choice. And, I’m sorry I never asked how you felt about it all.” Robert didn't realise how much he needed to hear that. “Robert, you’re dad isn’t here anymore. You shouldn’t let a dead man ruin your happiness.”

“But he’s my dad.” Robert whispered. “And I’ve gotten myself in a massive mess. It’s my wedding day for Christ sake.” They continued to follow the flow of the river. “But the other choice, is to be with this amazing guy, who makes me happy.”

_Did I really just say that?_

“Well- that amazing guy loves you a lot.” Aaron whispered, just as the wind picked up. “And… he would let you choose whoever you want, and be happy with it. Because if you’re happy, he’s happy.”

 _What the hell._ “Aaron.” Robert growled, turning around to face him. “ _Fight_ for me. Why can’t you beg? Why do you give up so easily?” These questions have plagued Robert’s head for days, and it was finally time he got answers.

“Because Robert, you know how I feel. It’s not me who has to fight. It’s you. Fight the temptation of a safe life and figure out who _exactly_ you want to be with.” Aaron crouched down and dipped a hand in the water. “You need to be yourself. Your true self, not the façade you keep in front of the Whites.”

He’d been keeping the mask on for so long, he wasn’t sure who Robert Sugden truly was anymore. “I love my life. I love my job. But choosing you means losing them.”

“You have so much hidden potential. You have shares in Holey Scrap, you have me. You have a lot if you leave her.” Aaron went from crouching to sitting down, and Robert sat right beside him. “You know who you’d also make happy?”

“Who?”

“Vic and Diane. If you started a life where you’re really happy, they’d be so proud of you.” Aaron murmured. _I don’t know what to do._ Robert watched Aaron study his face. “She’s got her hooks in so tight.”

“I know. I depend on her.” Robert rest his head on his knee’s, his eyes still trained on Aaron’s face. “You told me that you loved me. And that I felt the same.”

“No I didn’t.” Aaron grumbled. _Hah, back to his old self._

“You did. You don’t remember because, I’m in this time loop. And I repeat the same day every single day. But on the real day, the very first day, you called me to Wylies Farm and you told me you loved me, and that I loved you too. And I didn’t want to believe it, because I was getting married, I was stood in my suit. It was too late.” Aaron was quietly listening, and Robert wondered if he still sounded like a mad man. “I chose her. And you made a last ditch effort to take me. You called Katie to the farm. And I pushed her, and she fell and died. And I begged for someone to help me fix this…”

“But after all these days, after everything I’ve changed and done, I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do. I still can’t choose. I wake up every morning to the same day, and I have to figure out how I’m going to spend that day. Wether it’s in bed, or with you, or with Chrissie, or with Vic and Diane… And nothing this entire time has helped in any way.” Robert felt something like a rubber band around his chest release, and he could finally breath.

“It will last forever if you don’t decide.” Aaron looked straight ahead into the shrubbery and bushland. “If what you’re saying is true, it’ll continue until something gives.”

“But I’ve told Chrissie about us, I’ve stopped the wedding loads of times. I’ve talked to you. I’ve talked to anyone who’d listen. It still stays the same. I’m tired Aaron. I just want to wake up tomorrow.” The whimper was new, and Robert knew if he continued, he was going to start blubbering in front of Aaron. “I needed to fix ‘everything’ and I have no idea what that means.”

The sun rose to the middle of the sky, and Robert could tell it was around lunch time, along with his stomach gurgling under his skin. “Hungry?” Aaron smirked.

“We should hunt something like Bear Grylls.” Robert laughed. The ease in their conversation was something he’d never had with Chrissie. It was always stilted, and accusatory.

“No offense mate, but I don’t think you could catch a fly, let alone lunch.” Aaron bit back playfully, standing up. He gave Robert his hand, and he took his cool palm. He holds on a little longer, and Aaron flickers his eyes to Roberts. _God. This man will ruin me._

They walk back to the car hand in hand. It wasn’t planned, but it felt right. Robert couldn’t squash the giddy smile that graced his face, and he felt lost when Aaron had to let go. “So, what’s for lunch?”

Aaron laughed loud, and warmness invaded Robert’s chest. “How about we go to Hotten and figure it out there?” They put their seatbelts on, and Robert watched Aaron put the car into drive and whisked them away. They didn't speak until they were out of Emmerdale. As if the tree’s had ears. “Why do you want to impress your dad with wealth and a woman on your arm?”

 _Ah. The Robert Sugden back-story._ “My dad knew I was somewhat gay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. There was this farmhand who was about my age, working with us. I…”

“You liked him?” Aaron encouraged. For a manly looking bloke, he was very in touch with his sexuality.

Robert nods. “We… Started doing stuff. In my room. And dad caught us. He looked at me like I was… Below his standards. He loved me, but he couldn’t accept the way I was.” He wringed his wrists. “So I bottled those feelings. It became my dirty little secret. And I tried, so hard, to be the man my dad wanted me to be.”

“You realise, that was a long time ago. It’s okay to move on now. I think above being what your dad wants, your parents would want you to be happy.” Aaron held the steering wheel tighter, probably thinking of something. “I was like that when I came out. I dated Holly Barton.”

“Adam’s sister?”

“Yeah.” Aaron smiled at the memory, but it didn't last. “But, it wasn’t passionate. I didn’t love her. Then I met Jackson, and all the feelings I was supposed to feel for Holly, it was there. And I hated myself. I was weird, and strange. I blamed my dad for a while. I blamed myself. I blamed my genes. I couldn’t accept it. So instead of marrying the first woman who walked my way, I tried to kill myself.”

“What?” _Aaron? Aaron Livesy tried to commit suicide over being gay?_

“I turned a car on in the garage and let the fumes suffocate me.” He took a turn onto a main road. “So when they found out, I realised that there were so many people who loved me, and would be lost without me. I thought they’d stop loving me.”

“But they didn’t.”

“But they didn’t.” Aaron pulled into a steakhouse. “So hopefully, one of these days, you’ll finally get that there’s no escaping yourself. There’s no such thing as bottling things up. It always comes out in the end. And with time, it solves itself.”

Robert did _not_ expect Aaron to hand out sagely advice like that. He didn’t think they relationship was close enough to talk about those things. _I wonder what he’d do if that day Katie died continued. Would he break down? Would he blame himself?_ Lunch was a time loop and Chrissie free affair. Aaron’s phone rung a couple times, but by now Robert knows to leave his at the Woolpack. “Did you know I was a mechanic too?”

“Really.” Aaron smirked around a potato chip. _He’s flirting with me. In public._ “Did you know I used to live in France?”

“Exciting. Why did you come back?” Robert liked the back and forth. It was couple-y and relaxing.

“Adam.” Aaron rolled his eyes at the memory. “Idiot got himself into so much trouble so I came back. But I also wanted to get some distance between me and Ed. We’d separated, and France was just a reminder that I left my mum and them all for a boy who… Didn’t really love me.”

“Ah, puppy love. It happens to the best of us.” They continued to eat. It felt nice to sit and eat with Aaron. It was calm, and he didn’t have anything to worry about. Unlike that time he went for drinks with Aaron, he had so much internalised homophobia and his dad’s wedding ring on his mind. “I just realised how much of an idiot I’ve been.”

“Wow, never thought I’d see the day.” Aaron grinned, taking a sip of beer.

“Shut up.” Robert snapped, stealing a chip off Aaron’s plate. His playful furious face made Robert want to lean over and kiss him. He slumped back in his chair and chewed thoughtfully. “Sorry though. For being such a prat.”

“It’s fine. Well, it isn’t fine, but you’re of the hook.”

The first time he drove back to Emmerdale, he was a little bit excited to see Vic and Diane, and to introduce Chrissie to them and show her the village he grew up in. Now, he was upset. Because he’d just had the best day with Aaron, and now he had to come back and deal with his problems. _Gross._ Aaron parked behind the Woolpack, but neither of them moved. “Want to come inside?”

“I don’t know. There’s the rest of the night for things to happen. I don’t feel in the mood of being yelled at.” Robert leant back in his the car seat. “Maybe I’ll just sleep here and wait for the day to reset.” 

“I can’t believe that’s actually happening to you.” Aaron muttered.

“How can I make you believe it tomorrow?” Robert whispered. “Tell me something no one else knows.”

“I love you.” Aaron whispered, turning his head to face Robert. “I love you, and I never wanted you to marry that woman.”

“I know.”

“Tell me tomorrow that you love me. I’ll believe anything you say.” Robert couldn't stand the burn in his heart, and tried to extinguish it by leaning over and kissing Aaron. It just makes it burn brighter. He cups his jaw and tries to pull him even closer. Aaron grasps at Robert’s chest and shoulders, finding something to anchor him. He could feel the pent up love and devotion through their lips. His lips couldn’t stop, he needed Aaron like he’s never needed anything else. Like water to a thirsty man, he drank in Aaron.

Finally, when their lungs were finally about to give out, they pulled apart, just to press their foreheads together. “I will see what I can do.” Robert huffde out. Aaron looks delicious. His lips were bright red and his eyes sparkled with desire. He was glorious.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

* * *

 

“Morning pet-”

“I’m going out!” He interrupted Diane and it felt _great_. He slides out of bed with the energy of a thousand suns.

“Where are you going? You have to get ready for the wedding!”

“Sorry Diane.” He said as he pulled his jeans up. “Not going to happen.”

“Why ever not?” Diane pouted. She looks very put out.

“Because-” Robert drew it out as he buttoned up his shirt. “I don’t love her.” He grinned, thinking about whom he truly did love. _Aaron. How could I have been so blind?_ “So cancel everything. Tell Chrissie I’m sorry.”

“Robert! Slow down for a second.” She huffed as he pulled on his shoes. Robert didn't think he’d ever gotten ready this quick in his life. “Why are you doing this now? Yesterday you were all over each other.” Robert laughed, going through his bags for a jacket. He knew his suitcase off by heart by now.

“I can’t live a lie anymore. It was all a farce.” He pulled the jacket on and looked at the dishevelled Diane. “Just trust that I have my best interests in mind. I would have never been happy if I stayed with Chrissie.” He kissed her cheek and pushed past her, grabbing his wallet and keys on the way out. Robert laughed by himself, the excitement of the day finally dawning on him. _This has to be it. Being with Aaron, it had to be what I was meant to do._

He drove a bit too quickly to the scrapyard and practically leapt out of the car. Aaron stared as Robert sprinted up to him. “Aaron. Run away with me.”

“What?” Aaron exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay. Say you’ll come.”

Aaron looked around. “What about the scrapyard? I can’t let Adam down.”

“Aaron.” He put his hands on either side of his face. “I love you. I choose you. I want you. So screw everyone else. Well, send Adam a warning text, and lets just _go_.”

Aaron’s eyes watered. “You really mean it? You really love me?”

“ _Yes._ ” He pressed a kiss on Aaron’s lips. “Lets go.”

He laughed when Robert snatches his hand and pulls him to the portacabin. “You are crazy, you know that?”

“Crazy for you.” He replied, pulling out a pen and paper. “How long do you want to go for?”

“Robert- you’re getting _married_.” Aaron looked like he’d been swept up in a dream.

“No I’m not. I’m going away with you. We are going to leave this place and work on us.” He locked his eyes on Aaron’s shiny blue orbs. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” _He’s going to give in._ “Alright, how about two weeks? A little holiday.”

“Perfect.” Robert wrote down a short note for Adam, and pulled off a bit of sticky tape. “Where do you want to go?” He asks as they exited the portacabin. Robert stuck the note on the door.

“How far do you want to go?” Aaron asked.

“Anywhere. I’ll go anywhere with you.” Robert placed one hand on Aaron’s neck and the other on his waist. “Tell me. Tell me what you want.”

“What’s up with you? You’re like a different man.” Aaron smiled. _It sounds like he likes this version of me better._

“Love makes you do crazy things.” Robert murmured. “Let’s go to Ireland.”

“ _Ireland?_ ” Aaron’s eyebrows shot up. “Jesus Robert. I thought you just wanted to rent a hotel room in Manchester for two weeks or something.”

“I don’t care. We can do that if you want.” Robert said, keeping his eyes on Aaron’s confused face. “I love you.”

“I _know_.” Aaron laughed. “You’ve said it three times already.”

“I’ll say it forever. I’m sorry for how I treated you.” Robert prays that this would be the last loop. He needed this. He needed Aaron more then anything and he wasn’t about to throw it away for a pretty woman and her money. He slid his hands into Aarons and links their fingers together. “Lets go.”

He dragged the befuddled Dingle to his car and opened the passenger door for him. “Robert, hold on a second.” He does. He’d do anything for Aaron.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just, I want to know if this is what you truly want. Because up until yesterday, you were adamant that you were going to marry Chrissie.” Aaron said, his eyes full of hope.

“Why would I be here, asking you to run away with me, if I wanted her.” Robert murmured, kissing Aaron again. “Now put your belt on.”

Robert got into the drivers seat, and he felt like the wind. Free and strong. Aaron looked like a kid on Christmas as they reversed out of the scrapyard, and watched the unsuspecting villagers walk about on their day. “Chrissie’s going to murder you.” Aaron laughed.

“You’ll protect me?”

“Sure.” He sped out of Emmerdale, like he was trying to escape a bomb blast. He took a small glance at Aaron, and he looked content. _Good._

“You’re enough. You know.” Robert reassured. It was hard to tell if he was reassuring Aaron, or reaffirming it to himself.

“Did you bang your head?” Aaron asked.

Robert laughed, turning onto the highway.

_I’ve made my choice. I’ve fixed my wrong doings. This is my life now. Please let tomorrow come._

After 8 hours of travelling, hopping from the car into a ferry and swaying all the way to Ireland where they grabbed a taxi to Dublin, they finally made it. It was the late afternoon, and Aaron wanted to go to an Irish pub. “Want to get a Guinness?” Aaron asked as they walk through the streets.

“Tourist.” Robert muttered, throwing an arm around Aaron’s shoulders. “I’m going to get water.” Robert said with a groan.

The boat didn’t agree with Robert. Aaron stood beside him the entire time, rubbing his back in comfort. “True. You can get one tomorrow.” They ordered, and Aaron asked for another bag of crisps for Robert.

They sat and drank in silence. It was a bit surreal that they had just, on the fly gone to another country. Aaron’s phone wouldn’t stop ringing, and halfway through he had to turn it off. “Maybe you should call your mum. Tell her you’re alright.”

“Why don’t you call Diane? Tell _her_ you’re alright.” Aaron retorted but turned his phone back on. It buzzed erratically in his hand and Robert snorted. _Over 60 missed calls. Wow._ “Where is your phone by the way?”

“Left it in the Woolpack. After all this time I know it’s basically a nuisance.” Robert confessed everything to Aaron. Even now, he seemed sceptical but it didn't matter because it taught Robert the most valuable lesson. Follow your heart, no matter what.

Aaron sighed and called Chas. He put it on loudspeaker so Robert could hear too. It took no time at all for her to pick up. “ _Where the_ hell _are you_?”

“Hi mum. Yes, I’m fine thanks for asking.” Aaron huffed. “I’m in Ireland.”

“ _Ireland_?” She screeched. “ _What are you doing_?” Aaron cupped the phone to stop his voice going through.

“What do you want me to tell her?” He whispered.

Robert only has to think for half a second. “The truth.”

Aaron nodded, and lets his hand up. “I’m here with Robert.”

“ _W-why_?” She asked, and it sounded like she’d also put her phone on loud speaker. “ _What are you doing with Robert in Ireland_?”

“Katie was right all along. He was having an affair.” Aaron said, loud and clearly so there was so misunderstanding. “But he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. He wants to be with me.”

“ _But, what about the wedding_?” She asked.

“I assume it didn’t go through?” Aaron said with a cheeky grin. “Just don’t worry about me.”

“ _Robert_.” He heard Diane say. “ _Is this what you meant this morning_?”

Aaron rubbed his thumb on Roberts clenched fist. “Yeah. I was talking about Aaron.” It was silent on their side. “He makes me happy Diane.”

There was shuffling, and Robert wondered how many people were surrounded around the phone. “ _I have to say_ ,” It was Vic. “ _I did_ not _expect this_.” They both laughed loud enough for other punters to turn and stare.

“Sorry Vic. It’s was a spare of the moment thing.” Robert said.

“ _Spare of the moment? You don’t run away with someone you had a moment with. How long had this been going on_?” Vic asked.

“ _Yeah and why didn’t you_ tell _me mate_?” Adam. Aaron looked at his phone guiltily.

Robert let Aaron take the reigns. “It started around November. And I didn’t tell you because Robert didn’t want _anyone_ to know. He didn’t want to jeopardise his marriage to Chrissie.” Robert winced. It was sad and embarrassing to think of how self-centred he’d been. Only thinking about his wealthy future instead of his and Aaron’s happiness.

“ _Two weeks_?” Adam asked.

“If you want me back earlier it’s fine. I just wanted to spend some time with Robert. By myself.” Aaron murmured. They continued to talk, and different people hopped on the line. Paddy took the next slot, then Andy and lastly Katie. Robert inhaled and let out a long breath, expelling the past and breathing in his future.

“Hi.”

“ _So, I was right_.”

“Yep.” He paused. “I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry Katie. I should have never threatened you. I was absolutely inhumane to you and I’ve had a long time to think and I can never be more sorry.” It was cathartic. He’d never be able to say this to Katie when she died, and now that she was alive and oblivious, he could just run his mouth with apologies until he felt better.

“ _It’s okay Robert_.” Katie says. “ _But, if you hurt Aaron, you’ve got hell to pay_.” Chas gave her love and they finally hung up. Aaron took a big gulp of his tar black beer.

“What a weird day.”

* * *

 

“Morning.”

Robert groaned, feeling Aaron’s warm lips trail up his neck. “Mor-” _It worked._ He opened his eyes, the warm yellow light of the Irish morning sun flooded into the room. “Aaron. What day is it?”

“Friday.” He whispered into his ear.

 _It’s over. It’s finally over._ He wrapped an arm around Aaron’s waist and pulls him on top of him. “We did it. We stopped the loop.” Aaron smiled and presses a kiss on his lover’s lips. Robert moans as Aaron grounds their hips. “Alright, no talking.” Aaron nudged his nose over Robert’s cheek and pressed his lips on his jaw.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

_And we lived happily ever after._


End file.
